They're Saying President Obama Doesn't Have Any

The Russian Economy Is Tanking. It's Gotten So Bad That Today Vladimir Putin Had To Pawn His Stolen Super Bowl Ring. And Putin Will Finance His Next Invasion On Kickstarter.

It Was A Tough Press Conference For President Bush. He Spent The First Ten Minutes Trying To Pronounce Fallujah. ... Bush Insisted That Iraq Is Not Vietnam. Of Course Not, He Avoided Vietnam.

Mitt Romney And His Family Have A Big Two-day Weekend Plan. They're Going To Hike To The Top Of His Money.

Stocks Are At An All-time High Today. I Don't Have Any Money In The Stock Market. I Don't Have The Stomach For The Ups And Downs. So About 20 Years Ago I Put All Of My Money And Liquid Assets Into Videotape Rewind Machines.

You Know What I Love Best About Baseball? The Pine Tar, The Resin, The Grass, The Dirt - And That's Just In The Hot-dogs.