They Said You Can't Go To The

Every Night On My Show, The Colbert Report, I Speak Straight From The Gut, Okay? I Give People The Truth, Unfiltered By Rational Argument. I Call It "the No Fact Zone.

Here's An Easy Way To Figure Out If You're In A Cult: If You're Wondering Whether You're In A Cult, The Answer Is Yes.

Knock Knock. Who's There? The Truth. No Joke.

You May Learn Sooner Than Most Generations The Hard Lesson That You Must Always Make The Path For Yourself...there Is No Secret Society Out There That Will Tap You On Your Shoulder One Night And Show You The Way.

I Have A Generally Liberal Audience, But They Will Applaud When I Nail A Liberal Lion.