They Had So Much Rain In New

I Think Donald Trump And Jeb Bush Are The Frontrunners. It's Kind Of Like The Race Between The Tortoise And The Bad Hair.

Well, President-elect Barack Obama And His Family Are Gonna Spend The Holidays In His Home State Of Hawaii. And You Know Who Couldn't Be More Thrilled With This? The Press, The Reporters Who Follow The President. Well, Think About It. After Eight Years Of Spending Every Holiday Cutting Brush In Crawford, Texas, They Get To Go To Hawaii!

The Iraqis Sat Down For Talks On How To Put Together A Post-war Government. They Would Have Sat Down Yesterday, But Somebody Stole All Their Couches.

If Any Job Should Give You A Company Car, It's The Car Bomb Business.

But The Good News, The Crime Rate Is Down. Isn't That Amazing? Less Banks Are Being Robbed. Well, Sure. A, There's Less Banks. B, The Banks Don't Have Any Money Left. And C, Nobody's Got Gas Money For The Getaway Car. So, Right There, Crime Is Down!