They Call It 'surfing' The Net. It's

In My Local Newspaper, They Had This Advert: 'please Look After Your Neighbours In The Cold Weather'. I Live Next Door To This 84-year-old Woman, And Do You Know, Not Once Has She Come Round To See If I'm All Right. The Lazy Cow Hasn't Even Taken Her Milk In For A Fortnight.

I Really Like Rustic Mediterranean Cooking. And I Like Trying Out Curry Takeaways.

Well, I Don't Ever Get Excited. I Haven't Been Excited Since I Got A Chopper Bicycle When I Was About 12. Once You Get Older You Realise There's Always A Catch To Everything. So When I Get, Say, A Commission To Make A Tv Show, The Catch Is That You Have To Deliver Something And Then The Sense Of Responsibility Overwhelms The Joy Of The Occasion.

I Love Mixing With Comedians When I'm Working With Them, But When I'm Not I Don't Feel The Need To Hang Around With Them.

The Rain Forest Has Sting. Now Siberia Has Jack Dee. Someone Had To Draw The Short Straw. In This Case It Was The Rain Forest.