There's No Bigger Atheist Than Me. Well,

[giving Welfare To Poor People] Is The Equivalent Of The Government Sending [fat People] A Jumbo Bag Of Bugles In The Mail Twice A Month.

What We Used To Settle With Common Sense Or A Fist, We Settle With Hand Sanitizer And Lawyers.

I'm A Sort Of Nuts-and-bolts Guy. I'm Into Turning Wrenches And Swinging A Hammer And Wrenching On Cars.

As I Said In My Last Book, Birds Are Mean. They're The Only Pet That, When They Escape, The Owners Are Relieved. You Can Tell A Species Is Evil By Doing This Simple Math. If My Blond Lab Molly Was The Size Of T-rex, That Would Just Mean More Kibble, More Work For The Gardener In The Backyard, And A Harder Time Moving Her To My Wife's Side Of The Bed At Night. If Birds Were The Size Of A T-rex, The Streets Would Be Littered With Human Remains.

Figure Out What To Do, Then Take A Nap.