There Is No Off Position On The

Congratulations Are In Order For Woody Allen - He And Soon Yi Have A Brand New Baby Daughter. It's All Part Of Woody's Plan To Grow His Own Wives.

Yesterday, The Senate Voted To Approve President Clinton's Decision To Send Troops To Bosnia. And They Voted To Change The Name Of That Mission To "operation Forget About Whitewater".

I Have Nothing Against The North Koreans But This Kim Jong Un Has Got A Screw Loose. A Member Of His Cabinet, His Security Minister, Nods Off, Falls Sleep. We've All Done It. Kim Jong Un Takes The Guy Out And Has Him Executed, Just For Just Falling Asleep. Oh, And He Was Also Deflating Footballs.

Last Month Mitt Romney Raised $76 Million. He Found It In An Old Sport-coat Pocket.

President Obama Has Two Years Left As President. I Wouldn't Be Surprised If He Gets To Appoint Two New Kardashian Husbands.