Iraq Is So Bad That President Obama

A Lot Of People Think I'm Retiring, But I've Been Telling A Fib. I've Been Forced To Leave This Job Because I Gave $75,000 To The Clinton Foundation.

Mitt Romney Was A Guest On 'the Tonight Show' On Nbc. It's Interesting — You Have An Empty Suit Trying To Please Everyone, And Then Romney Comes Out.

Apparently, There's Something Hinky About The New Iphones. They're Not Hooked Up Right. ... There's A Problem With The Antenna. They Don't Like To Be Held - Like My Ex-wife.

Here's Some News From Afghanistan. We're Sending More Troops To Seal Up The Borders. Can We Try That Here? Three Months, 12,000 Pounds Of Bombs And Billions And Billions Of Dollars And The Highest Ranking Enemy We've Captured So Far Is An American.

Mitt Romney Is Doing What He Can. He's Trying Very Hard. He Wants To Unite America, The Rich With The Wealthy, The Poor With The Indigent, And The White With The Caucasian.