The White House Is Saying Donald Trump

We Thought New York City Was Home To 8 Million Rats. Turns Out, That's A Little High. The Actual Number Is 2 Million Rats. That Explains The Light Turnout For The Midterm Elections.

President Bush Announced That The War In Iraq Has Been Won. It's All Over, It's Been Won. I Believe This Would Be Bush's First Uncontested Victory.

George W. Bush Has A New Campaign Slogan: "a Reformer With Results." I Don't Know What It Means [but] I Think It's Better Than His Old Campaign Slogan: "a Dumb Guy With Connections.

Osama Bin Laden Was Living In That Compound With Three Wives. It's Like He Was Newt Gingrich.

According To A New Survey, People Who Get Divorced Die Early. People Who Stay Married Live Longer. The Difference Is They Just Wish They Were Dead.