The Twitch Above My Right Eye Will

Some Knitters Say That They Buy Yarn With No Project In Mind And Wait Patiently For The Yarn To "speak" To Them. This Reminds Me Of Michelangelo, Who Believed That Every Block Of Stone He Carved Had The Statue Waiting Inside And That All He Did Was Reveal It. I Think I've Had Yarn Speak To Me During The Knitting Process, And I've Definitely Spoken To It. Perhaps I'm Doing It Wrong, Or Maybe My Yarn And I Aren't On Such Good Terms, But It Really Seems To Me That All I Say Is "please" And All It Ever Says Is "no".

A Plain Sock By Itself Is Terribly Boring, But It Could Score Points By Having A Clever Stitch Pattern, Or Maybe By Being Made Out Of A Very Beautiful Yarn That's An Enchantment To Work With. (sadly, It Is Still Infuriatingly True That Being Beautiful Without Being Clever Is Almost Worth More Points Than Being Clever Without Being Beautiful, But Such Are The Rules Of Life And Knitting-they Are Cruel, But There Anyway).

I Will Always Buy Extra Yarn. I Will Not Try To Tempt Fate.

If You Were Ever Dumped After Knitting A Guy A Sweater, Consider The Possibility That The Problem Was With The Sweater, Not You. The Recipient Probably Took One Look At The Thing, Imagined A Lifetime Of Having To Pretend To Like (and Wear) This Sweater And Others Of Its Like, And Saw No Choice But To Flee Into The Night

You Don't Knit Because You Are Patient. You Are Patient Because You Knit