The Supreme Court Has Ruled That They

Magic Johnson, Former Basketball Player, May Run For Mayor Of L.a. In The Next Election. Remember The Good 'ol Days When Only Qualified People Ran For Office Like Actors And Professional Wrestlers.

Presidential Democratic Front-runner Howard Dean Admitted To Chris Matthews On The 'hardball' Show That He Got Out Of The Draft Because Of A Bad Back. He Had A Curvature Of The Spine. Apparently It Curved Too Far To The Left.

Border Agents Have Now Been Issued Air Guns That Shoot Pepper Balls At People Coming Across The Mexican Border. Have They Thought This Through? Is That Going To Bother People From Mexico? Pepper Balls? Don't These People Eat Jalapenos? Isn't That Like Firing Meatballs At An Italian Guy?

Rick Santorum Is So Conservative; He Thinks Ky Jelly Is Jam Made In Kentucky.

All Of Iraq's Oil Fields Are Under U.s. Control Which Is Ironic Considering All The Gas Stations Here Are Run By Middle Easterners.