The Struggle I Went Through Has Value.

I Was, Without Exaggeration, A Delinquent Teenager.

That's What Is Most Satisfying, Is Having Overcome That Pain. Pain That Is So Intense That When You Finish, It Feels Like You're Going To Die. That's What I Wanted, And That's What I Got.

Sport That Consumed Me For Over Two Decades . . . Is Now Gone. Now It's Just Me. No Pressure, No Expectations, No Need To Be Fast, Good, Strong Or To Even Improve. Yet I Can't Let Go Of This Idea That I Always Need To Be More Than I Am. And It Is Eating Me Alive.

I Had Some Experience In Dealing With People Who Have Mental Illness And Depression, But I Didn't See The Signs In Myself. I Couldn't Ask For Help Because I Didn't Know I Needed Help.

I Am Nowhere Near My Limit. I Just Want To See If There Are Such Things As Limits. I Want To Go And Find Out.