The Planet Isn't Going Anywhere. We Are.

It's Legal For Men To Be Floorwalkers And Illegal For Women To Be Streetwalkers.

I Don't Like The Phrase Shock Value. Surprise Is Essential In Comedy, And If People Are Shocked By What I Consider Merely Surprising, Then That's Their Shock. But There Is No Joke Without Surprise.

I Went To A Bookstore And Asked The Saleswoman, 'where's The Self-help Section?' She Said If She Told Me, It Would Defeat The Purpose.

Regarding Local Residents Attempting To Ban Sex Shops From Their Neighborhoods: You Show Me A Parent Who Says He's Worried About His Child's Innocence And I'll Show You A Homeowner Trying To Maintain Equity.

That's Really A Part Of My Nature , It Goes Along With Autonomy And Independence Of Action - It's Just That I Don't Identify With The Local Group, No Matter What It Is, Whether It's The Human Species Or The American Democracy, The Nation, The Country, Religions, Political Parties, Nothing. None Of These Have My Allegiance Because I'm Not Really Concerned With What They Do. I Don't Feel A Part Of Any Of This.