The Only Time I Commit To Conspiracy

When I First Went Onstage I Even Had A Suit Jacket On With The Sleeves Rolled Up Because That's What I Saw On Tv Or At The Improv That Everybody Did.

It's Painful For Me To Watch Someone Who Isn't Funny. It's Horrifying To Sit In The Back And Watch Some Guy Who Just Totally Sucks.

Haters...are All Failures. It's 100% Across The Board. No One Who Is Truly Brilliant At Anything Is A Hater.

If I Could Make The Same Amount Of Money Doing Standup It Would Be No Contest. The Problem Is That If You Do Make That Kind Of Money Doing Standup, It's Not In Clubs, It's In Big Auditoriums And Large Venues, And I Really Think Something Is Lost When You Do Standup For A Big Crowd.

I Had A Sense Of Who I Was Before I Got Famous.