Houston Alexander Is For Real!

I Always Do That At The End Of Shows, Like A Q&a Session. First Of All It Lets People Know That This Isn't Some Preprogrammed, Press-play Show Where I Have To Say The Exact Same Words In The Exact Same Order. That's Part Of The Thing With Live Comedy Is That People Like The Fun Aspect Of It And I Enjoy The Taking Questions Part.

It's Painful For Me To Watch Someone Who Isn't Funny. It's Horrifying To Sit In The Back And Watch Some Guy Who Just Totally Sucks.

When You Snatch Little Pieces Of Other People's Lives And Try To Palm Them Off As Your Own, That's More Disgusting Than Anything. Robin Williams Is A Huge Thief. Denis Leary Is A Huge Thief. His Whole Stand-up Career Is Based On Bill Hicks, A Brilliant Guy Who Died Years Ago.

I Realized A Long Time Ago That Instead Of Being Jealous You Can Be Inspired And Appreciative. It Carries More Energy To You... That Can Be An Awesome Motivating Force That Can Improve Your Life If You Choose To Be Inspired And Not Jealous. One (being Jealous) Has No Benefit Whatsoever, The Other Is An Incredible Resource For Creating Momentum And Improvement.

If You Haven't Peed The Bed, You Haven't Taken Enough Chances.