The Only Thing That Scares Me More

Most Comedy Is Based On Getting A Laugh At Somebody Else's Expense. And I Find That That's Just A Form Of Bullying In A Major Way. So I Want To Be An Example That You Can Be Funny And Be Kind, And Make People Laugh Without Hurting Somebody Else's Feelings.

I'm Not An Activist; I Don't Look For Controversy. I'm Not A Political Person, But I'm A Person With Compassion. I Care Passionately About Equal Rights. I Care About Human Rights. I Care About Animal Rights.

Human Beings Only Use Ten Percent Of Their Brains. Ten Percent! Can You Imagine How Much We Could Accomplish If We Used The Other Sixty Percent?

I Hope I Make People Feel Better. I Hope I Take People Out Of Their Situations A Little Bit And Make Them Happier. That's Really Why I Do What I Do.

There's Lotion For Your Face, For Your Hands, For Your Feet, For Your Body. Why? What Would Happen If You Put Hand Lotion On Your Feet? Would Your Feet Get Confused And Start Clapping? Each Kind Has Something Special In It - Aloe, Shea Butter, Coconut, Cocoa Butter, Vanilla, Lemon Extract. That's Not Lotion. That's One Ingredient Short Of A Bundt Cake.