The Only Thing I'm Addicted To Right

For Now, I'm Just Going To Hang Out With These Two Smoking Hotties And Fly Privately Around The World. It Might Be Lonely Up Here, But I Sure Like The View.

There Was This One Time In Vegas When I Took Four Victoria's Secret Models And Did One Gram Off Each Of Their Bodies Within, Like, 45 Minutes. I Declared Myself King Of Vegas And Decided To Remodel My Hotel Room With My Bare Hands To Resemble King Louis Xiv's Bedroom At Versailles. Knocked Down Two Entire Walls, And Later Had Four Knuckle Surgeries. Still Wasn't As High As Rob Ford.

Fame Is Empowering. My Mistake Was That I Thought I Would Instinctively Know How To Handle It. But There's No Manual, No Training Course.

I Have To Tell Them That Last Night Was A Shameful Train Wreck Filled With Blind Cuddly Puppies.

What Is A Normal Childhood? We Weren't Rich, We Were Pretty Middle-class. My Dad Survived From Job To Job; With Him Taking Care Of So Many Relatives, He Couldn't Save Any Money.