The Only Reason That They Say, 'women

Being On A Ship Is Something Like Being Pregnant. You Can Sit There And Do Absolutely Nothing But Stare At The Water And Have The Nicest Sense That You Are Accomplishing Something.

I Think If You Can Write A Play, Or Produce A Play, The First Step Toward Success [is] If People Don't Want To Kill Themselves In The Lobby. Now There Must Be Four Or Five Other Steps, But That's The First.

In The Beginning, We Made The Usual Mistake Of Looking At Houses We Could Afford. I Am Working On A Proposition, Hereafter To Be Known As Kerr's Law, Which States In Essence: All The Houses You Can Afford To Buy Are Depressing.

Women Speak Because They Wish To Speak, Whereas A Man Speaks Only When Driven To Speak By Something Outside Himself Like, For Instance, He Can't Find Any Clean Socks.

I Once Truly Believed That If I Had To Stand In Line For Twenty Minutes To Have A Package Gift-wrapped It Actually Gave The Recipient More Pleasure.