The Only Real Laughter Comes From Despair.

How Do You Feel About Women's Rights? I Like Either Side Of Them.

I'm Not Going To Pay Good Money To Join A Club That Lets In People Like Me.

My Favourite Poem Is The One That Starts 'thirty Days Hath September' Because It Actually Tells You Something.

I Cannot Say That I Don't Disagree With You.

Here Lies Groucho Marx And Lies And Lies And Lies P.s. He Never Kissed An Ugly Girl.