The Only Real Laughter Comes From Despair.

Given The Choice Between A Woman And A Cigar, I Will Always Choose The Cigar.

I Did Toy With The Idea Of Doing A Cook-book. . . . I Think A Lot Of People Who Hate Literature But Love Fried Eggs Would Buy It If The Price Was Right.

I'd Like To Meet The Person Who Invented Sex And See What They're Working On Now.

I Can't Understand Why You Don't Get Any Mail From Me. Perhaps It's Because I Haven't Been Writing

The First Part Of The Party Of The First Part Shall Be Known In This Contract As The First Part Of The Party Of The First Part Shall Be Known In This Contract-- Look, Why Should We Quarrel About A Thing Like This? We'll Take It Right Out, Eh?