The Older You Get, The Better You

So I Want To Thank The Pentagon, The Soviet Union And The Military-industrial Complex From The Bottom Of My Heart. Without Them, I Could Never Have Become The Man I Am Today.

To Me, Smoking Pot Meant Sitting With A Newspaper On My Legs, Rolling The Seeds Down, Pulling The Twigs Out And Finally Producing A Perfectly Cylindrical, Absolutely Wonderful Joint That You Either Locked At Both Ends Or Pinched Off, Or Pinched At One End And Left Open At The Other.

Intelligence Tests Are Biased Toward The Literate.

Religion Is The Worst Thing That Ever Happened To Mankind - The Ironic Part Is That It's Presented As A Good Thing, And Its Effect Is Absolutely Catastrophic To Individuals And To Societies.

Give A Man A Fish And He Will Eat For A Day. Teach Him How To Fish, And He Will Sit In A Boat And Drink Beer All Day.