Intelligence Tests Are Biased Toward The Literate.

I'm Not In Show Business Because I Don't Have To Go To The Meetings, I'm Just Not A Part Of It, I Don't Belong To It. When You "belong" To Something. You Want To Think About That Word, "belong." People Should Think About That: It Means They Own You. If You Belong To Something It Owns You, And I Just Don't Care For That. I Like Spinning Out Here Like One Of Those Subatomic Particles That They Can't Quite Pin Down.

In Hawaii They Say, "aloha." That's A Nice One, It Means Both "hello" And "good-bye" Which Just Goes To Show, If You Spend Enough Time In The Sun You Don't Know Whether You're Coming Or Going.

And Now, In The Interest Of Equal Time, Here Is A Message From The National

My Left Descending Septal Branch Artery Decided To Close Without Consultation With Any Of My Other Organs. It Happened On Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.

Standing Ovations Have Become Far Too Commonplace. What We Need Are Ovations Where The Audience Members All Punch And Kick One Another.