The Older We Get, The Fewer Things

I Read About Eight Newspapers In A Day. When I'm In A Town With Only One Newspaper, I Read It Eight Times.

If I Could Kick The Person In The Tail That Causes Me The Most Problems I Could Not Sit Down For A Week

The Minute A Thing Is Long And Complicated, It Confuses. Whoever Wrote The Ten Commandments Made 'em Short. They May Not Always Be Kept, But They Are Understood.

The President Says, 'there Is Lots Of People Worse Off Than The Farmers.' I Don't Know Who It Could Be Unless It Is The Fellow Who Holds The Mortgages On The Farms.

The Time To Save Is Now. When A Dog Gets A Bone, He Doesn't Go Out And Make A Down Payment On A Bigger Bone. He Buries The One He's Got.