The Oil Spill Is Getting Bad. There

Last Halloween I Ran Out Of Candy And I Had To Give The Kids Nicotine Gum.

Did You Hear What The Republicans Have Said About Hillary Clinton? They Say She's Too Angry To Be President. Hillary Clinton, Senator Hillary Clinton, Too Angry To Be President. When She Heard This, Hillary Said, 'oh Yeah? I'll Rip Your Throats Out, You Bastards.'

I Got My Lips Chewed Off By A Dingo!

You Folks Like Tv, You Watch A Lot Of Tv? There's A Show Right Here On Cbs, It's A Huge Hit. It's Called The "mentalist." And It's About This Guy Who Has A Heightened Sense Of Observation. It's Miraculous; He's The Only Guy In The World Who Can Tell The Difference Between Sarah Palin And Tina Fey.

Moammar Gadhafi Was Found Hiding In A Storm Sewer With A Gold-plated Gun. That's Me In Retirement, Ladies And Gentlemen.