The Oboe Sounds Like A Clarinet With

Many People Have Asked Me Why There Are Three Pedals In These Grand Pianos. Well The Pedal In The Middle Is There To Separate The Two Other Pedals.

Flint Must Be An Extremely Wealthy Town: I See That Each Of You Bought Two Or Three Seats.

When I Was A Little Boy And Played Liebestraum, My Father Used To Hit Me On The Head With A Newspaper Every Time I Slopped The Cadenza . . . I Hate Liebestraum.

Santa Claus Has The Right Idea - Visit People Only Once A Year.

And Now, In Honour Of The 150th Anniversary Of Beethoven's Death, I Would Like To Play 'clear The Saloon', Er, 'clair De Lune', By Debussy. I Don't Play Beethoven So Well, But I Play Debussy Very Badly, And Beethoven Would Have Liked That.