The No. 1 Cause Of Forest Fires

People Come Up To Me In Bars And On Street Corners And They Say To Me, 'hey, Paulsen, Have You Got Any Change?'

Censorship Does Not Interfere With The Constitutional Rights Of Every American To Sit Alone In A Dark Room In The Nude And Cuss.

They Said I Ignored The Drug Problem. Well, I Gave Speeches On Drugs, I Wrote Books On Drugs. I Did Darn Near Everything On Drugs!

In Opposition To Sex Education: Let The Kids Today Learn It Where We Did - In The Gutter.

Will I Obliterate National Debt? Sure, Why Not?