The Next Time You Feel Like Complaining,

I Got A Valentine's Day Card From My Girl. It Said, 'take My Heart! Take My Arms! Take My Lips!' Which Is Just Like Her. Keeping The Best Part For Herself.

Washington Is A Place Where Politicians Don't Know Which Way Is Up And Taxes Don't Know Which Way Is Down.

Thanks To Modern Medicine We Are No Longer Forced To Endure Prolonged Pain, Disease, Discomfort And Wealth.

Economists Can Certainly Disappoint You. One Said That The Economy Would Turn Up By The Last Quarter. Well, I'm Down To Mine And It Hasn't.

The Playboy Calendar This Year Has Some Tiptop Models. Any More Top And They'd Tip.