The Kid Is The Best Thing That

Dave! Relax! Close Your Buttcheeks!

I Want To Tell My Jokes. I Want To Have Time With My Children. I Want To Entertain People. And At One Point, I'll Walk Away From Show Business. But I Don't Want To Walk Away Empty-handed.

Everyone Who Wants To Make It In Comedy Goes To L.a., So A Million Comedians Fight For Time On Three Stages. If You Get In There In New York, You're Working Eight Times A Night Sometimes. Who's Going To Be Funny, The Guy Who Works Once A Week, Or The Guy Working Eight Times A Night?

After A While, A Joke, If You Say It Too Much, Just Becomes Contrived, Or Fake-sounding.

I Got My Hat Pulled Up Low And No One Can Really See Me. I'm Ducked Out. People Do Recognize Me, And I Have A Pretty Interesting Fan Base. It's A Diverse Group.