The Key To Happiness. Hm.... There Are

Officials From The Soccer Organization Fifa, Which Decides Which Cities Get To Host The World Cup, Are Accused Of Accepting Bribes When Making Their Decision. Of Course The Toughest Part For The Soccer Officials Was Taking Bribes Without Using Their Hands.

Rachel Dolezal Stepped Down From Her Position As President Of An Naacp Chapter After It Was Revealed That She Was A White Woman Pretending To Be Black. Now Her Brother Says He Knew About It But She Asked Him Not To Blow Her Cover. Unfortunately, Her Cover Had Already Been Blown By God When He Made Her A Blond-haired, Blue-eyed White Lady.

In Celebration Of Mother's Day Yesterday, President Obama Called Three Moms Who Had Written Him Letters. Then Kids Who Made Their Mom A Macaroni Necklace Said, 'thanks, Obama.'

Bp Wants Twitter To Shut Down A Fake Bp Account That Is Mocking The Oil Company. In Response, Twitter Wants Bp To Shut Down The Oil Leak That's Ruining The Ocean.

Big News From Last Night's Republican Debate, You Guys. It Turns Out George Bush Was Actually The Smart Texas Governor.