The Interesting Thing About Grief, I Think,

I Don't Want Someone Shoving His Views Down My Throat, Unless They're Covered In A Crunchy Candy Shell.

Cameras Are Dangerous. With No Waiting Period Or Background Check, Any Whack-job Could Just Stroll Into A Wal-mart And Walk Out With A Semi-automatic. Now, For Years I've Been Pressing For Stricter Regulations On Cameras, Especially Around Our Elected Officials. Too Many Political Lives Have Been Cut Short By Some Crazed Shooter.

Researchers From Britain's Keele University Have Found That Swearing After An Injury May Help Alleviate Pain. Evidently, The Pain That You Feel Is Inversely Proportional To The Number Of Middle Names You Give Jesus.

I Would Say Laughter Is The Best Medicine. But It's More Than That. It's An Entire Regime Of Antibiotics And Steroids.

In 1986, Our Commencement Speaker Was George Schultz, Secretary Of State, Fourth In Line To The President. You Get Me-basic Cable's Second Most Popular Fake Newsman. At This Rate, The Class Of 2021 Will Be Addressed By A Zoo Parrot In A Mortar-board That Has Been Trained To Say "congratulations.