Protect Yourself From Muslim Vampires By Making

If The Eyes Are The Window To The Soul, Then Why Does It Hurt When I Spray Them With Windex?

I'll Make Fun Of Anybody. We're All About Falling Down And Going Boom On Camera.

What's The Worst That Can Happen? A Tidal Wave? Glaciers With Guns?

Don't Be Bitter. Everybody Suffers. If You Can Accept Your Suffering Then You Will Understand Other People Better. Be Grateful For Pain. Love Life.

President Bush Has Embarked On An Eight-day Tour Of The Continent. He Hopes This One Goes Better Than The Other Ones He's Made Recently. Obviously He's Not Doing That Well In North America [on Screen: '36% Approval'], His South American Trip Had A Few Bumps [on Screen: 'angry Mobs Of Torch-carrying Bumps'], Europe Seems To Think The President Doesn't Care What They Think, But Hey, Who Cares What They Think? They Could At Least Thank Him For What He's Done For Their Burning Effigy Industry.