The First Time I Had Sex, I

Larry King Is So Old, He's Actually One Of The Jews That Killed Christ.

I Don't Think People Shouldn't Try To Be Edgy, But You Have To Take What The Audience Says To You In Consideration.

I Killed A Squirrel Once With A Car. Twice With A Tennis Racket.

I Have That Need In Me, I Want Everyone To Love Me, But I'm Embarrassed By That Need, So I Wanted To Cover It Up In My Persona. I Felt Like I Wouldn't Be Able To Do Stand-up For A Career If I Was Needy. I Didn't Want To Be Complaining Or Whining Onstage. I Wanted To Be Cool And Do Exactly What I Wanted To Do. That Way I Would Never Have To Change For Anybody.

Charlie Sheen Called His Boss On 'two And A Half Men' A 'jew Ki**' And Expected To Go Back To Work. That’s Crazy. If You Could Do That And Keep Your Job, Then Everybody Would Do It.