The First Time I Did Stand-up Was

Sometimes Loving Each Other Isn't Enough. You Have To Be Responsible For Your Own Happiness. You Can't Stay In A Relationship Because You're Afraid Of The Unknown.

I'm A Very Ritualistic Person. I Have To Wash My Face Twice, And On The Second Wash Before I Rinse, I Brush My Teeth, Then I Rinse, Then I Floss, Then I Put On Moisturizer. I'm Ritualistic. Jewishness Is Very Ritualistic.

Dear America, When You Tell Gay Americans That They Can't Serve Their Country Openly Or Marry The Person That They Love, You're Telling That To Kids Too. So Don't Be F**king Shocked And Wonder Where All These Bullies Are Coming From That Are Torturing Young Kids And Driving Them To Kill Themselves Because They're Different; They Learned It From Watching You.

Scientology Is Weird Because It's New.

I Don't Need A Lot Of Space.