The First Rule Of Survival Is: Make

I Have A Wonderful Psychiatrist That I See Maybe Once A Year, Because I Don't Need It. It All Comes Out Onstage.

At My Funeral, I Want Meryl Streep Crying In Five Different Accents.

Anyone That Says Looks Don't Count Is Lying. Of Course They Do. Even Babies Go To The Attractive Face. It's The Way Humans Work.

Victoria Beckham Is So Nasty, Why Doesn't She Just Go Home?! Her Dresses Are Beautiful, But I Don't Care What She Does. She's Mean To All The People Around Her. She's Too Short To Be A Diva. We All Use The Same Hairdressers, Make-up Artists, Limo-drivers And Greeters At The Airports In La And Nobody Has Anything Nice To Say About Her. They Say She's Rude. She Can't Always Just Be Having A Bad Day.

Gay Marriage, I Am So Against It Because If All My Gay Friends Get Married, It Will Cost Me A Fortune In Gifts.