The Cowboy's Defense Has More Holes In

I'm A Comedian, For God's Sake. Viewers Shouldn't Trust Me. And You Know What? They're Hip Enough To Know They Shouldn't Trust Me. I'm Just Doing Stand-up Comedy.

The Average American's Day Planner Has Fewer Holes In It Than Ray Charles's Dart Board.

I Haven't Seen Anyone Rely On The Ground Game This Much Since The Battle Of Verdun.

The Current Tax Code Is Harder To Understand Than Bob Dylan Reading Finnegans Wake In A Wind Tunnel.

Is Global Warming New? I Don't Know. When I Was Young I Remember The Sun Being Hot.