The Cafe Was Called Tattoos. The Fella

The Elephant Man Would Never Have Gotten Up And Gone, ‘oh, God. Look At Me Hair Today.’

That's The Problem With Them Fables, They're Putting Animals Together That Wouldn't Meet. I Don't Know Where A Scorpion Is Knockin' Around With A Frog.

There Was Some Women In A Café The Other Week That I Was Sat In, And She Came Up And She Sat Down With Her Mate And She Was Talkin' Loudly Goin' On About "oh The Baby's Lovely." They Said It's Got, Er, Lovely Big Eyes, Er, Really Big Hands And Feet. Now That Doesn't Sound Like A Nice Baby To Me. I Felt Like Sayin' It Sounds Like A Frog. But I Thought I Don't Know Her, There's Only So Much You Can Say To A Stranger. I Don't Know What Kept Me From Sayin' It.

If You Haven't Got Eyes, You Shouldn't Have Wings

You Never See An Old Man Eating A Twix