The Best Thing About A Vacation Is

Civilization Means Conforming To A Standard Of Behavior That May Not Seem Natural To Us.

It's Ridiculous For A Country To Get All Worked Up About A Game—except The Super Bowl, Of Course. Now That's Important.

The Last Birthday That's Any Good Is 23.

Democrats Believe People Are Basically Good But Must Be Saved From Themselves By The Government. Republicans Believe People Are Basically Bad But They'll Be Okay If They're Left Alone.

Writers Don't Often Say Anything That Readers Don't Already Know, Unless Its A News Story. A Writer's Greatest Pleasure Is Revealing To People Things They Knew But Did Not Know They Knew. Or Did Not Realize Everyone Else Knew, Too. This Produces A Warm Sense Of Fellow Feeling And Is The Best A Writer Can Do.