The Best Revenge Is Living Well.

Everybody In New York City Knows There's Way More Cars Than Parking Spaces. You See Cars Driving In New York All Hours Of The Night. Its Like Musical Chairs Except Everybody Sat Down Around 1964.

What Would The World Be Like If People Said Whatever They Were Thinking, All The Time, Whenever It Came To Them? How Long Would A Blind Date Last? About 13 Seconds, I Think. Oh, Sorry, Your Rear End Is Too Big. That's Ok, Your Breath Stinks Anyway. See You Later.

The Padded Outfits, The Bad Scripts, The Phony-looking Sets... He Dealt With It All. He Had To. He Was Superman.

Everything Is In How You Are Going To Handle It. As A Lifelong Nightclub Comic, I'm Ready To Handle Whatever I Have To Handle.

The Truth Is, I Had Always Wanted To Be A Comedian, But I Really Didn't Have That Kind Of Personality, And It's A Terrifying Thing To Say.