The Best Part Of Being A Vegan

I'll No Longer Say That I Have Supernatural Powers. I Am An Entertainer. I Want To Do A Good Show. My Entire Character Has Changed.

I've Seen Lights In The Sky, I've Seen Ufos, I've Even Seen Something On The Ground That I Can't Explain, But I've Never Actually Seen A Being. I Wish I Had.

We're All Brilliant At Something. I Discovered My Powers When I Was Four Years Old. When You're Young You're More In Touch With Your Real Talents, But So Often The 30 Year Slog Knocks It Out Of People.

I Was Sued By A Woman Who Claimed That She Became Pregnant Because She Watched Me On Television And I Bent Her Contraceptive Coil.

I Don't Take Myself Seriously All The Time; I Have To Do Quirky Things, Such As Helping Football Teams, Moving The Ball Away From Mcallister's Foot, Getting Into The Sun And The Star - Because, You Know, I Like Sensationalism, It's A Part Of What I Do.