That's Too Coincidental To Be A Coincidence.

If You're Feeling Good, Don't Worry. You'll Get Over It.

On Being The Guest Of Honor At An Awards Banquet: "thank You For Making This Day Necessary."

You Should Always Go To Other People's Funerals, Otherwise, They Won't Come To Yours.

When The Waitress Asked If I Wanted My Pizza Cut Into Four Or Eight Slices, I Said, 'four. I Don't Think I Can Eat Eight.'

It's Pretty Far, But It Doesn't Seem Like It.