That Baby Is So Ugly... I've Never

Yeah, I Read History. But It Doesn't Make You Nice. Hitler Read History, Too.

I Love Israel For Its Blue And White Flag As It Matches My Legs.

Joan Collins Told A Reporter That She Hasn't Had Plastic Surgery; Come On... She's Had More Tucks Than A Motel Bedsheet!

The Psychic Scars Caused By Believing That You Are Ugly Leave A Permanent Mark On Your Personality.

People Are Arguing Whether Mel Gibson's "passion Of The Christ" Is Anti-semitic. Well, Whether It Is Or It Isn't, It Doesn't Matter, Because I've Been In Touch With His Accounting Firm, Rosencrantz, Levy And Stern, And They're Screwing Him Out Of His Profits.