Technically My Dog's Naked Most Of The

There Is No Thanksgiving Back In The Old Country Where I Come From. You Know Why? Because Being Thankful Is A Sin.

I Used To Love Going Fishing. I Think It Was Really About The Clothes. Nothing Says Real Man Like A Vest With 38 Pockets And A Mesh Hat With Hooks In It.

I Don't Drink Anymore For Cinco De Mayo. I Celebrate With Mexican Food, Or As It's Known In Mexico: 'food.'

I Love The United States. I Have Applied For Citizenship. I Want To Take The Oath Of Allegiance On Tv.

Ratings Experts Say The Best Way To Get People To Watch During Sweeps Is To Leave The Audience With A Question That Won't Be Answered Until The Next Time The Show Is On. You Know, Like Who Shot J.r.? I Like To Think I Do This Every Night - The Question Is, Is This Show Still On?