Al Qaeda Has Declared War On The

Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving. All The Food's In The Oven. And I'm In The Bedroom Performin' Self Lovin'.

I'm Gonna Enjoy Being Old I Think I'll Be Awesome At It.

Now, I Know Obama Was Trying To Take The Long View, But Talking About Solar Energy In The Middle Of The Oil Spill Is Like Watching Your House Engulfed In Flames And Saying, 'we Really Should Change The Curtains.'

They Were Singing, Gillette, The Best A Man Can Get, With A Lot Of Guys Hugging Their Fathers And Sailing And Riding Bikes. I Suddenly Felt A Long Way From The Best A Man Could Get And I Thought It Would Be Nice To Get From There To The Best.

Be Careful Who You Choose As Your Hero Or Who You Choose To Deify, Be It Clay Aiken Or Barack Obama. You Put All You're Hope And All Your Dreams And All Your Ideas About Stuff Into One Human Being. They're A Human Being They're Going To Let You Down. You Can't Make Someone Your Hero Because Of Something You Read On The Internet. The Internet Is Not A Source Of Information It Is A Source Of Disinformation.