Surely Life Has Taught You That A

My Men Have Suffered Greatly (from Boredom), Much Blood Has Been Shed (by Mosquitoes), And I Have Swung My Ax Mightily (chopping Firewood). Surely We Have Earned Our Place In The Annals Of History—for Never Has There Been So Little War In A War.

There Are But Two Types Of Men Who Desire War: Those Who Haven’t The Slightest Intention Of Fighting It Themselves, And Those Who Haven’t The Slightest Idea What It Is. … Any Man Who Has Seen The Face Of Death Knows Better Than To Seek Him Out A Second Time.

All I Ask Is That My Final Months Be Happy Ones, And That I Be Permitted A Husband Who Will See To My Proper Christian Beheading And Burial.

I Know Of Nobody That Is Coming, I Am Sure, Unless Charlotte Lucas Should Happen To Call In- And I Am Sure My Dinners Are Good Enough For Her, Since She Is An Unmarried Woman Of Seven-and-twenty, And As Such Should Expect Little More Than A Crust Of Bread Washed Down With A Cup Of Loneliness.

We May All Deserve Hell, But Some Of Us Deserve It Sooner Than Others.