I Recently Attended A Pro-drug Rally... In

We Should Just Get Somebody From The Left And The Right And They Should All Throw Bumper Stickers At Each Other And The First One To Cover The Other One Wins.

All My Friends Are Always Telling Me How Hard It Is To Have Kids. 'oh, David, It's So Hard.' That's Not Hard. I'll Tell You What Hard Is. Try Talking Your Girlfriend Into Her Third Consecutive Abortion. Yeah, That's Hard, That Takes Finesse. You're Just Inconvenienced.

I Also Try To Think Of Ways To Articulate The Joke More Economically.

I Think It Was There Before, But - Because Of Social Media, Too - There Are These People Who Fancy Themselves As Tolerant, And Don't See The Hypocrisy And Double Standard Of How They're Not Tolerant At All, And They're Just Strident And They Don't Listen. There's No Dialogue Anymore. That's Maybe, Truly, The Worst Part Of Trump's Legacy Is Just People Yelling At Each Other.

Then I Will Tape The Sets And Even Though I`m Not Very Successful Sometimes I Will Try To Cut Out The Fat And Put The Jokes Closer Together.