Stand-up Is The Only Thing In Which

And I Know This Happens Because I Took Economics, And I'd Explain It To Ya, But I Flunked That Course. Not My Fault. They Taught It At 8 O'clock In The Morning. And There Is Absolutely Nothing You Can Learn Out Of One Bloodshot Eye.

Do You Know What 'meteorologist' Means In English? It Means Liar.

In My Lifetime, We've Gone From Eisenhower To George W. Bush. We've Gone From John F. Kennedy To Al Gore. If This Is Evolution, I Believe That In Twelve Years, We'll Be Voting For Plants.

Johnny Vassilaros Is The Man Who Has Created The Finest Cup Of Coffee Ever Served In The City Of New York.

Everybody's Family Has Different Values.