Stand-up Is The Only Career Like That

If You Live Below Your Means, You Can Turn Down Stuff All The Time.

I Was At Michael Jackson's House, And This Kid Runs Out, 'wait, Save Me!'

There's Always A Moment In Any Stand-up Show I Do Where People Are Booing. They Kinda Boo A Premise. And Then I Bail Myself Out With A Joke. But It's Like Trying To Do Movies Where There's A Dramatic Undertone.

When You're Doing A Big-budget Movie And You're Four On The Call Sheet, You've Got A Lot Of Free Time.

Men Are Handicapped When It Comes To Arguing, 'cause We Have A Need To Make Sense.