Stand By Your Bed And Salute Me.

If You Absolutely Believe That What You Do Is Right, You're Bullet-proof.

I Hated The Summer Jobs I Had When I Was A Teenager. They Were So Mundane And Repetitious, They Deadened My Soul. On The Bright Side, It Was Good Training For This Job.

Personally, I Hope He Doesn't Get Out Of The Campaign. I Need Rick Perry. I Don't Want To Spend The Next Year Trying To Do Jokes About Mitt Romney.

The Queen Banishes Snow White Because Of Her Beauty. But The Dwarves Help Snow White Because They're Smitten By That Very Beauty. It Teaches Kids An Important Lesson: Nothing Matters Except For Your Looks.

People Are Saying That Anderson Cooper Could Be The New Oprah. And Then These People Are Struck By Lightning.