Sometimes In A Movie, The Lines Are

I Know What You Want. And I Know What You Need. But I'm Gonna Screw It Up, Yeah, Cause I'm An Idiot. And I'm Your Boyfriend.

Look, I Know These Rick Perry Jokes Are A Little Mean, But Tomorrow, He Won't Even Remember Them.

Former New York Governor George Pataki May Enter The Race For President. It's Not Definite, But He Tweeted That He'll Announce His 2016 Plans On May 28 In New Hampshire. Well, What's He Gonna Do, Go To New Hampshire To Say He's Not Running? That's Like Getting Down On One Knee And Saying, 'i Think It's Time To See Other People.'

Here's A Little Bit Of Good News. The Coast Guard Says That Bp Is Now Catching Up To 630,000 Gallons Of Oil A Day. The Bad News Is That They're Capturing It With Ducks.

Today Carly Fiorina Announced That She Is Running For President. Someone Else Bought 'carlyfiorina.org' And Posted 30,000 Sad Emoticons To Represent All The People She Laid Off At Hewlett-packard. I Haven't Seen That Many Sad, Blank Faces In One Place Since The Mayweather-pacquiao Fight.