Sometimes I Think If I Had To

I Hate This Bizarre Policy Of Protective Exclusion, Because It Effectively Writes Me Off The Page.

We Traveled For Two Weeks With A Pickled Hippo.

Although, Pretending Not To Notice Is Almost Worse Than Noticing.

I'm Truly Grateful For My Microwave, Which Allows Me To Easily Clarify Butter, Steam Vegetables, And - When I Am Really Lazy - Feed My Three Kids In Less Than Five Minutes.

Dear God. Not Only Am I Unemployed And Homeless, But I Also Have A Pregnant Woman, Bereaved Dog, Elephant, And Eleven Horses To Take Care Of.