Some Men Go A Lifetime And Never

Everyone Knows You Can't See Death Cooties. Take My Word For It, That Couch Has The Biggest, Fattest Death Cooties That Ever Existed. That Couch Has The Mother Of All Death Cooties. – Lula

I Was Watching Television And I Saw How You Stick Your Fingers In A Person's Eyes To Slow Them Down." Grandma Mazur

When Something Needs To Be Ironed I Put It In The Ironing Basket. If A Year Goes By And The Item Is Still In The Basket I Throw The Item Away. This Is A Good System Since Eventually I End Up Only With Clothes That Don’t Need Ironing.

Well, Sure, But I Don't Bring God Into It. I Think Shower Massage Might Have Been Invented By The Devil. God Invented The Missionary Position.

I'm Sorry About Your Porsche." "i Can Replace The Porsche. I Can't Replace You. You Need To Be More Careful." I Was Just Sitting In Your Car!" Babe, You're A Magnet For Disaster.