So Keep Fighting For Freedom And Justice,

I Prefer Someone Who Burns The Flag And Then Wraps Themselves Up In The Constitution Over Someone Who Burns The Constitution And Then Wraps Themselves Up In The Flag.

Texas Is A Fine Place For Men And Dogs, But Hell On Women And Horses.

No One Has Ever Accused Texas Of Being In The Vanguard Of Social Progress. This Is The Most Macho State In The U.s. Of A. By Lore, Legend, And Fact, Texas Is 'hell' On Women And Horses.

There Are Two Kinds Of Humor. One Kind That Makes Us Chuckle About Our Foibles And Our Shared Humanity -- Like What Garrison Keillor Does. The Other Kind Holds People Up To Public Contempt And Ridicule -- That's What I Do. Satire Is Traditionally The Weapon Of The Powerless Against The Powerful. I Only Aim At The Powerful. When Satire Is Aimed At The Powerless, It Is Not Only Cruel -- It's Vulgar.

On The Whole, I Prefer Not To Be Lectured On Patriotism By Those Who Keep Offshore Maildrops In Order To Avoid Paying Their Taxes.